I am Sitting in the space to soften what can harden, I don’t want to contribute to more of the same. What I know to be true is that pain not processed will perpetuate. The pain gets distorted and mutates into violence. The outdated systems of power need a massive update. We need more of the Woo, the WOmen, the feminine. 

Years ago I was part of a group, “The Gathering of the Goddesses.” I know it sounds hokey but it was awesome. We would have conversations about our challenges as women, dance, pull tarot cards, eat amazing food, and support each other. As I was training to be a therapist I pushed it away and traded it in for a more masculine approach to healing. This kept me in a spin of knowing without understanding HOW to heal my pain.

This led me to the work I did with Mona Miller, and that is what changed my life. I learned how to balance the healthy masculine with the embodied feminine. The FEM is often depicted as too soft and weak and yet softness allows space to change. Harshness resists and controls, and things remain the same. 

The feminine is not about gender, it is an energy that has been subjugated, sidelined, shunned, and is the kind of power that has threatened the old model. The imbalanced model of power we grew up with is baked into many of our internal systems. This is the inner work, to free up what I am carrying on an unconscious level to change the roots from which I grow. It is messy, painful, and also beautiful in the design. WE must traverse unchartered territory to pioneer the dream, the vision. 

This takes imagination, leaning into the Woo, seeing beyond the illusion and delusions of what is known and rooted in the dynamics of lack. Control cannot be the driving force or we become stuck in the spin. 

I grew up in a world that celebrated IQ and had little value for EQ. What I learned is that Emotional Intelligence is key to unlocking a fixed mindset. That is the place that keeps recreating more of the same. The deeper we can feel what lives inside and not judge it, we hold space for all parts of who we are to be heard. This is the pathway to empathy and understanding. When I can change the system within me, I can embody change within the system that I live in. 

This requires that we travel to unchartered places individually and collectively. To see beyond the conditioned mind and not let fear run us into the same position. A power stance of lack. Abundance is what we are born with, it gets tamed out of us. Our wild nature gets domesticated into conformity, upheld by comparison and judgment. Why do we want to be like other people? Because we buy into the belief we are not enough as we are. That is the BS, blind spots that need clearing. 

The places within that harden from fear are yearning for love. The tenderness that we may not have been given, we must learn to give ourselves. This turning inward is the shift that changes how we hold our hurt. The gentleness of the soft feminine that will transmute pain into wisdom. The birth, the WOmb that will give way to change.

The way forward is uncertain and what a potent time to lean into what we can change to recalibrate to a new paradigm of power. What you change within will shift what you attract in your life. 

I am leaning into more Woo, not bypassing the pain, transmuting it into wisdom. Who knows maybe I will start another Gathering. We need your creative voices and visions. It all matters, we are all connected. 

If you need support or guidance, reach out. This is my field of expertise. There is a field of possibility when we go beyond the mind's fixed perception and see with the vision of heart and soul. 

Thank you for being here and grateful for this community.

As a yoga teacher and life coach, The Processing Playground is a place that I created for my students and clients to come together and learn how to work with energy. While many of us may have a very committed asana or meditation practice, often we lack the tools to process and release the emotions that bubble to the surface when we are triggered. The idea of "letting go" is great, but these tools can help you to actually rinse and clear these energies to move forward.

Following on from my July Newsletter, and in the lead-up to my 2025 Sardinia Retreat, I wanted to dive a little deeper into the concept of Zoning Out and the coaching tools that I use to help my clients slow down and reconnect.

Interested in learning more about the work that I do with my coaching clients? Click the button below to book a FREE 15-minute Discovery Call and let’s chat!

Hope you are all enjoying your summer. I just returned from Sardinia – my third time back – and yes, it is a charm. As a blue zone, Sardinia boasts a lifestyle that is sweet and simple. Blue zones are where people live the longest and most fulfilling lives.

Food, lifestyle, strong spiritual networks and social connection are some of the ingredients. One of my favorite things I have experienced is the pleasure of doing nothing. Sometimes we need time to zone out and clear space.

Many of us have busy lives and the buzz can drown out the call of your inner voice – the wise one within you beyond the noise of conditioning. Feeling disconnected from each other can shut down the creative juices we need to stay inspired. It is an art form, to communicate clearly within ourselves and with each other. It takes practice like anything and commitment is key. 

Before I left I was beginning some new directions and then my body had a strong response that felt like a No. I had to sit with it and course correct. In the past I may have kept going because I had committed to this new project. Deep down inside I knew it was not the direction for my soul to be nourished. 

Sometimes you need to revise who and what you are committed to and realign in the direction of what is your true North. That’s why embodied practices attune you the wisdom that lives beneath the mind and in the heart of your inner guidance. 

It’s important to check in when you're headed in new directions. What part of you is leading? Does this nourish your Body, mind, heart, and spirit? Doesn't mean it is easy. Does the journey make space for more ease in your connection to soul intentions? This is what I call Blue Zone living (from anywhere in the world) when all parts of you feel aligned with your inner voice and you commit to doing whatever work it takes to express it authentically, whether or not people approve of it. What a remedy to pleasing others and owning your relationship with pleasure!

I have worked with so many clients who lost their way from the zone of their own brilliance. They took on the beliefs and biases of other people's desires and sacrificed their own. This can feel like drudgery and dullness. You can’t shine authentically when you are pleasing others, that is the trance of the inner critic. Getting to the core of who you are and centering your needs gets you back into your dance with life. When you love truth first, love yourself next, then the love you give to others is not from sacrifice or servitude, it is in service of True Love.

As an ex people pleaser I know how hard it can be to break up with habits that feel soothing, even when they're at the detriment to your expansion. This life is not a dress rehearsal, relationships are where we practice and get mirrored back what needs resolving. Yes you have to release attachments to old beliefs and up-level your learning, but what you receive is a full life in the zone of your brilliance and genius.

You are not meant to be a carbon copy, that crap is old. You are a creative being here to manifest a life of love and purpose. I help folks rinse the emotions that have them stuck in a loop, process the unresolved hurt, and own where they're holding themselves back so they can consciously create a new story that celebrates their voice. 

Everyone deserves to live in the Blue Zone of their being. Life is sweet, simple, sparkly, sexy, soulful, spiritual, soothing, scarcity has no place here. Take some time to zone out from the noise and zone in on what lights you up. Sitting still is a rebellious act in a world that says keep busy to prove your worth. AND you must show up and commit to it every day. Soften the walls of resistance and soak in some new energy, the zone of sweetness is much more playful and full of possibility. Love lives here.
Xoxo,

Mia

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about the coaching work that I do, click the button below to book a FREE discovery call with me.

Hello everybody, 

How are you doing? Feeling? I recently was telling my husband I am tired. Not the kind of tired that needs sleep. I needed to step away from the frequency of the city. My sensitivity felt overloaded. It wasn’t a problem that my head could unfurl, the tuning rod of my spirit needed more space to feel the natural rhythm of life. 

There is a lot of energy swirling around in the world that impacts us, in big and small ways. It is important to participate in an expanding world and also soothe our inner world. 

Centering Joy is a practice that makes us available to the frequency of what's shifting and expands our capacity to stay in a space of love. 

Taking time away in the Country was the salve my entire system needed. Self care is key to bring us into alignment so we feel less worry, anxiety, and fear AND more hope, possibility, and inspiration. Every season of our life offers a new relationship to how we hold ourselves. 

I have had to pivot my practices to hold a softer force field for my precious energy. It is important for all of us to review and update what that means. Summer solstice is a sweet time to renew your commitment to Self. A midway point to check in with your body, mind, heart, and spirit. Relationships within and with others are barometers; what needs clearing, connection, care. What pivots are necessary to course correct in the direction of love?

Our stories create a map, a kaleidoscope of mixed experiences that informs our inner narrative. This topography is a beautiful tool to learn from the past and curate a path that is more aligned with who you are now and where you want to go. Old stories rooted in fear may need an update so they don't hijack your dreams and desires. 

Softening hooks of harshness is a sweet space to create new conditions of acceptance. The more compassion you have for your humanness, the softer the grip of past mistakes so they become gold nuggets of wisdom. 

What conditions of Self care do you want to create so this season supports your bloom? Change is always happening, how we change with each season informs how we unfold into the next. Softening the grip of fear opens your hands to receive the expansion of summer's sweetness. 

Some Suggestions:

• Walk in nature

• Sing and dance like nobody's watching. 

• Turn off your phone for a while

• Call your besties

• Cuddle with animals

• Move your body with no agenda

• Scream into a pillow

• Process your emotions

• Write out your fears and hurts so they can move, then write out what will soothe them.

• Honor loss and celebrate your wins

• SET BOUNDARIES

Create a sacred space for all your emotions to move, this shifts your energy. Let the warmth of the sun revitalize your relationship with your Self care. Softening is a strength that allows your life force to move through you, your natural rhythm is not forced it is followed with care. 

Sending love,

Mia

P.S. Don’t forget about the NEW online yoga class that I’ll be hosting over Zoom on the last Sunday of each month. In honour of the summer solstice, this class will focus on softening into summer. Click the link below to sign up!

It has been a long winter and a slooowwww start to Spring here in London. Finally, the sun is shining and the gloomy stew has shifted into a swirl of delights. The birds singing, the sun beaming joyfully, the scent of flowers filling the air. I love this time AND I have also learned to love the gloom beforehand because it inspires me to find the beauty in the shadow and light. 

I get asked this question a lot: What is shadow work? It is bringing an unhealthy pattern that's on repeat into our conscious awareness. These patterns are wired when we are young and they are tangled in how we see ourselves and others. We can change relationships, but the energy of the pattern remains.

We cannot let go in the mind what the body needs to feel. Our bonding patterns develop as we do and get reinforced by the way we respond to fear. Rewiring our fear responses to pain allows space to choose differently. This takes patience. Feeling and somatic work is a journey and also a beautiful discovery of reclaiming agency. It takes commitment. As the lessons get integrated, new pathways emerge. 

Often our minds judge, project, and personalize our pain onto others. There is a temporary relief of the hurt but it doesn't get heard within. The healing happens through the processing of the pain, integrating the wisdom in an embodied way. We have to hear the call into our shadow and walk with it, not avoid or abandon it. 

Think of the palette of colors an artist paints with, there are many and some get mixed and mingled to elicit a feeling, some are beautiful and some can be confronting, yet it all gets us to feel something. The swirl of your own life is a mix of life's experiences that have created the mosaic that is you. 

What is this springtime awakening within you that is calling you deeper into the masterpiece that you are? Contrary to conditioning, we want to go where we are told not to. We have to disrupt the status quo within to change and upgrade our lives. 

We need to have some magical thinking to imagine something more beautiful than the delusion of past imprints, to see beyond the binary, seed new creations, and blossom into the swirl of our own path. 

Change is in the air always and in all ways – nature keeps reminding us of this. I hope this Spring keeps you aligned with your inner garden so you continue to follow the way of your creative inner compass. Every story you hold holds a key to unlocking what needs to move through you. It is in this Swirl that the mosaic of your own life can lead you home to the sweet vessel of who you are. 

If you need help or support on your path emerging, please click here for more information about my coaching or click here to get in touch.

Also, I will be offering a special Zoom yoga class on Sunday, May 26th at 9:00 am PDT/ 12:00 pm EST/ 5:00 pm BST. A Sunday Soul Flow to support your Swirl. Click the button below to sign up.

Let your truth light the way to how you love.

Xx,

Mia

Spring is here, its gentle return is dotted throughout London with Pink magnolia blooms. There is a feeling of opening the windows and receiving a fresh breeze of sweetness.

What has been dormant is awakening and with it, the promise of new life, new breath, and a new way of walking in the world. Nature is a mirror we look to that reminds us how cycles and seasons are necessary to rekindle our spark. 

With all the pain in the world, we must also keep our joy alive. This is how we help birth a new way of being. Our elemental nature is to love, we can get caught up in the fear loops on repeat. It is a potent time to remember who you are and what you came here to experience.
  
Embracing our elements helps us create a home in our animal bodies where our souls can expand. In the desire to raise our vibes, we don’t want to bypass what our human experience needs. 

Most of us want to feel happiness and joy. Sometimes we need to get close to the ground and grieve, allow sadness like waves of water to wash us clean, feel the fire of sacred anger that alchemizes our hurt and breathe love into it all. Love all our emotions, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

When we move away from what our human hearts need to feel, we can push down, avoid, numb out, and disassociate from the messages our wise bodies are sending us. The more fractured the world gets, the more important it is that we embrace our healing to embody the integration we need for ourselves and each other. 

How often do you reach out for the embrace when you are hurting? Often we turn away when we need to turn in. To allow the warmth of the sun to return, soften what has been lying dormant. This is the call to come home, to air out our inner space and breathe new life into our desires and dreams. 

Getting back to the elements disarms the defensive stance of separation and opens the conversation to embrace connection.

Love is not always about feeling good, Feeling good is an outcome of loving all our truths. May we embody our shadow and light and own the wholeness within so we are part of the wholehearted conversations that will bring love back into balance. 

May you bloom in all the beauty that you are.

I start and stop many times before I find my groove. I used to think that was resistance and now I see it as my process. The record needle landed on this and this is what I want to share with y'all. I am so damn grateful to have this community, thank you for being here.

I said something this week that resonated for many of my clients and students and I realized something so simple is revolutionary.  I said “I LOVE MY BODY” I don’t just mean physically, I love the energy of wisdom it carries because I have learned to be an ally with what it needs and feels. 
I could not have authentically said that years ago. I was at war with myself even though my outside looked put together. I needed to bust open that lie and learn how to get ugly. I had to go where I was told not to, to allow myself to be weird, raw, and expose what needed to heal. 

It was not pretty nor comfortable but it was the only way through. I was learning to feel what lived within, not judge it, partner and listen with curiosity. This is a bridge of empathy that helped me understand myself and distill the medicine for what hurt. Until I was ready to put down the pain I would pass it on like a baton and the cycle would continue.

This took years to reach, there was no formula, quick fix, it was a process of unlearning what I had been conditioned to believe before I had a conscious choice. It was as if my logic was running on one track and my emotions were moving on another. They were not in sync. They travel on different timelines and have a different language. That is why it is important to learn how to navigate feelings. They are like the red flags that are telling us to listen beyond the stories in our minds. 

It has been a journey to release the spin of old records rooted in fear. Rinsing these voices helps to untangle the energy of that loud critic. Under the booming voice is usually a scared child. Loving all the parts of ourselves that feel unlovable is reclaiming our fire, magic, and wisdom. 
Wherever you are with loving yourself, it is a practice not a race. There is a way through even when you cannot see it. 

We come into this world ready to receive love, we say Yes. Under the influence of fear based culture, we begin to shrink into a version that builds walls rather than bridges. None of this is wrong, it can feel safe to protect against harm. Sadly a part of us can close down and say No when love comes knocking at the door. 

This is a potent time to soften the walls and say Yes to the life you want. We can buy ourselves flowers and we can also receive them. Life wants to dance with the intimate flow that moves through us. 

My work as a Self-Mastery life coach helps folks soften their walls and love the inner child within. This Is where curiosity and wonder dwell. Reuniting with the life force that runs deep in the well of your being is courageous work. Not by beating the doors down but by listening to the heartbeat of your own drum. It is in this sweet space we find our groove and create the music of our unique sound track. I hope this next season sweetens and softens you into holding your heart with love. This is what we came for.

When you look around at all that is going on in the world today, it can be confronting, challenging, and heartbreaking, which is why we must have resources that allow us to keep joy and hope alive.

But just because something is unfamiliar – like a stranger that we come across with suspicion – doesn’t mean it’s bad. Perhaps, instead, it’s an opportunity to be curious, to learn, and to create new conversations.

It’s so easy to judge what we don’t understand because – rooted in prejudice – judgment requires no real effort. We can all do this at times and learning new skills to disrupt that pattern takes practice. It takes an expansive, open mind to explore outside of the confines of what is familiar.

This is a time of radical (root) change at the tectonic plate level of who we are, as a people, as a culture, and as a global community. Our collective relationship with power is being challenged and we are beginning to weave a new reality.

As we witness the paradigm of power shifting throughout the world, our relationship to personal power is also being challenged, which is so important in how we show up in the world, how we express our gifts and how we allow ourselves to shine.

But like every paradigm shift, the tremors on the surface are uncomfortable and can get us to hunker down and stop moving forward into the unknown. The strange new place we are heading to has no road signs. Again, this doesn’t mean that it’s bad, but an opportunity to be curious.

What we're living through is an upgrade of every level and is reshaping how we really want to be in a relationship with power. 

So my question to you is, how is your relationship with your personal power? I know that's a big question, but it’s crucial if we are to architect a new framework on this planet where the relationship with power has a foundation of compassion. 

If we want peace, we have to understand where we are not at peace. If we want love, we have to heal where we are blocking love. This is where and how we co-create a new earth that is rooted in love and truth. Is this radical? Yes. Will it happen overnight? No. Expansion happens after contraction. 

This brings me to the work I've done as a Self-Mastery Life Coach for many years. My work is not done, but what I've mastered is this: if you do not heal and understand where you are at war with yourself, that energy will play out in your relationships with others. This can show up through shame, judgment, projection, blame, people-pleasing, perfectionism and control.

Control is just a form of power that is out of balance, so it's important to observe where control is hijacking our happiness so that we can reclaim our relationship with our worth and self-esteem.
The war inside kills your spirit and extinguishes any chance of connection and – because of outdated beliefs that are rooted in fear – it will annihilate where love is trying to bloom. 

So the work is focused on how we can make this internal warfare conscious. How can we learn to love, reparent, and metabolize the hurt and pain of not feeling like enough so that we reclaim our power, our light, and our beauty? Because we are enough as we are.

Someone said to me recently, “I'm tired of all the lessons, it's hard” and I said “yes it is, and the lessons don't stop, but what makes it easier is accepting and releasing the resistance to the lessons because they will confront where you hold shame in the form of stubbornness and control.”

Letting go of control is not a thought concept, it is a feeling practice. The need for control lives deep in our bodies and gives us the illusion of safety that was once needed to protect us but now is time to update. 

So as we enter into 2024 and the paradigms of power appear to be shifting, the time is ripe to shift and sweeten the relationship that you have with your own personal power.
Lean into the strange and find a way to dwell in the unknown, as it may hold the keys to where you are being asked to travel. The new paradigm is unfamiliar, so we have to go beyond what we know and trust our inner light to guide us. 

May we burn away the calcified structures of domination and burn the flame of new beginnings. I see a paradigm that is in alignment with love, truth and equanimity. Lean into yours and may we co-create together. Keep your spark alive. 

In his theory of relativity, Einstein determined that time is relative, or – in other words – the rate at which time passes depends on your frame of reference. This is the time of year we tend to review what has transpired and reflect on what has unfolded over the past 12 months.

Time is a construct that humans have created to measure events and navigate life AND it can also be a human illusion of the rate at which we need to achieve and get things done. But when we look at time through a different lens, it can also be a portal for spiritual growth and self-mastery.

There are no constraints here. Life is a journey that has a different rate for each of us and it is not a race.

I often think about how when life tumbles me, I feel a moment of panic. I want to get out of the fear of being lost in the spin as fast as possible. I want to cling to something that will help me feel safe and it is in these moments that letting go of the grip and leaning into the spin, letting go of the illusion of time, that I find my way to solid ground. 

When I was a little girl, my sister had a rock tumbler that took these rough jagged rocks and slowly tumbled them into polished stones that were smooth and glowing. I was fascinated by how something so violent and chaotic could reveal such beauty if you practiced patience.

I have spinned many times in the same place until I was ready to get my lesson. 

We all get tumbled and rocked around by living life and it can bring up our prickly places. We can run from the hurt or hunker down in stubbornness, but it will always find us. When we get curious about what is being tossed about, it can help soften our edges of defence and release patterns of internalized violence. We can find another way for the fear to move so we don’t cling to the harshness of stories that are not ours to carry. 

When I started on my wellness journey, I quickly realized that I lived in a culture that was sick with fear and scarcity. It seemed many signals I was taking in were saying “be at war with yourself, you are not enough and the secret to happiness is external and really unattainable”. I knew it was upon me to unlearn programmed stories and recalibrate with true love and acceptance. 

When I turned 30, someone asked how I felt about getting old. What?! I knew at that moment that I was not going to carry the warped belief that life sucks as I get older. Yes, we all age and yes, we will eventually leave our bodies – those facts are non-negotiable – but one thing we can change is our perception of aging. We can see it as a prison that we entrap ourselves in OR an adventure that expands our lives into new territory. 

Flash forward decades, I am so grateful I did the work to unpack those old beliefs and rewire new ones. The truth is, there is beauty at every age and every season gets brighter the more we wash away the imprints of limited beliefs. 

Dance with your shadows and befriend them. Let them tumble you into a spin of sacred understanding of your inner light. They are full of wisdom and help you reclaim your power. Every time you give yourself away to others' judgment of you, your radiance dims. 

The holidays can carry a bag of mixed feelings, it is not merry and bright all the time and past imprints of grief and sadness may surface. Try to meet yourself here with open arms and allow your inner light to brighten because you choose to befriend your wounds. I have found wisdom from these tender places when I have allowed myself to soften and open. 

Understand your lessons, own your truth, and celebrate your light. This is a love that never fades. Time may not heal everything, but it can be a passageway home to the center of your precious light.

The truth is, you are LOVE and you are LOVED.

It has taken many heartaches to crack me open to this undying love. I live here way more than I don't. When I waiver, I remember what I seek, is seeking me. What I desire in my heart, desires me back. 

Today as I finish this newsletter, I turn 58. I celebrate my light and all the love I have gleaned from every misstep and mistake. My shadows are no longer scary, they delight me with gifts of wisdom when I stay true to my heart and soul.

I am grateful for each one of you and how we support and celebrate each other on this journey of life and love. 

Wishing you love and blessings as we bring the year to a close.

Xx,

Mia

The other night my dog Linus was sleeping at the foot of my bed and making soft grunting noises. To some people that would be disturbing, for me it is like sweet sounds that lull me to sleep. Linus is aging as we all do, he is almost 13 years old which is like 91 in human years. I have been coming to terms with how little time I have left with him. It‘s like every breath he takes I soak in and hold it deep in my heart with love and gratitude.

It is not only that he sleeps there each night, it is his presence and devotion to love me that is unspoken and known between us. His eyes are gentle and they have always seemed a little sad. It is also his gentleness that has helped comfort my own sadness. His giant heart has held me when mine was aching. 

Since the first day I encountered dogs as a little girl, I was obsessed. I felt like they could see and understand me in ways humans just couldn’t do. Their eyes were not filtered through the lens of conditions and obligations. The main directive was presence, affection, and play. My little self knew that there was a key to this perception of life that got lost among the adults I was watching. 

I saw adults say one thing and mean another. The words and actions didn’t sync up and the energy was in another time zone. I wondered why this was. I wondered why boys were told not to cry and girls were supposed to be pleasing and smile when they wanted to yell at the top of their lungs. The domestication of my wild animal was happening slowly. It was in the signals being emitted through the airwaves to conform and be something that is acceptable to others who wrote the rules. Forgo play, wonder, and simplicity for complicated nonsense. 

What was dangerous about this was the betrayal of listening to my heart and what I needed. I was being trained to be obedient in a world that had a messed up version of power. Dogs are not obedient to being something they are not. They are devoted to what and who they love. They see beyond prejudice, class, color, age, orientation, and the condition to love is pure. 

The purity of every animal I have ever loved and who loved me back is a gift that keeps giving through every cycle of life. I am at a chapter in my life where I have loved and lost, ached and known great joy. 

Linus got out of bed and seemed to be doing well after battling illness. His body was losing, he had a seizure and his eyes signalled to me he was breaking down inside. I couldn't reach him and I did everything I could to help and hold him. I am sitting by his side and hoping he will get better, but I don't think he will. I hope I am wrong. I also know I have to accept his aging body is preparing to leave. I am not ready and I never will be. That's the hardest part about death. The loss feels like a punch to the gut and the hurt cuts deep. The salve is the love, always the love to hold me through the pain. To let him go when he is ready.

Sadness like grief comes in waves. It can feel like a tsunami that will never end. It will recede but being pummeled by the pain can be brutal. Nobody wants to be in it and yet we have to go through it like a holy rite of passage. What moves through us each time tenderizes life and our ability to love. We never think of the hurt we may feel when we play as kids. We fall off our bikes, scratch up our knees, suture up our wounds and we go out there again. Maybe the joy of playing and living outweighs the hurt of falling down. 

As we get older and the falls hit harder there is a tendency to avoid things that will cause or conjure similar hurt. So we choose things that are safe and they can also keep us stuck in half-hearted living. To live wholeheartedly takes risks because you will get hurt. Everything changes, ends, and dies. Nobody knows when but it will happen. 

As I sit in the void of not knowing and the patience of being with the tenderness of loss. I realize that Linus will never be able to walk up the stairs and lie next to my side. There is a moment of ache because I had no idea the night before this would be the last time. We all think we have control of things and death is a reminder, brutal and beautiful, that life is precarious and the delicate balance will be tipped. 

The thing about death is it brings me into the moment, I have nowhere to run and no place to be. It is a transition that demands presence. It physically hurts and my heart cannot escape the sensations running through me, try as might. Every little worry dissolves into nothing, there is only space to be here in the unknown. 

I don’t know how long my beloved dog will be like this, I do know the end is near. I am certain that the love and devotion he has given me is all I can give him back. The only way to process this loss is to be in relationship with all the fears, and feelings, and not betray the experience. Death is a great teacher of life. It holds the key to unlocking joy. Joy is much bigger than happiness. It is a container that holds every feeling as a guide to come back to love. I am sad my dog is leaving and I feel tremendous joy that I have had a lifetime with him. It is not either/or. It is both. I can hold death and life in my heart at the same time to have joy and appreciation for the journey. The key is to be present in my life with every feeling and not turn away, creating trust and undying love. I turn toward death and let it have its way with me. Then and only then will I know my way home. 

When death comes knocking on my door, all the worries occupying my mind have no room. All I have room for is the moment. The grief takes over and I have nowhere to run, it will find me. All I can do is surrender and allow the pain I am feeling to have a home and be accepted. To understand the transition from one realm to the next cannot be occupied by the mind, it is felt with every fibre of my being. 

Maybe this is why humans write great music and make great art when they're in pain. Our broken hearts have nowhere to be but in the moment. The acute understanding of endings that change us forever. 

I will not run from my pain, I stay open to feeling the beauty of loss and love in life, all the endings that teach me to begin again. No death will not be the end, it will be the beginning of a deeper love that only this threshold can offer. It is the ritual of returning to essence, the purest form of being. It is a presence that has no beginning or end, it is the cycle of being a spirit in physical form. 

Today I sit here with Linus and my greatest joy is to feed him bite-size pieces of meat, that is all he will eat. Stroking his frail body and being close to my sweet boy brings me into the presence of death and life, without fear, only wonder. The necessary ending of life is a sweet surrender to birthing new patience for how it teaches me. The books go out the window, and the self-care practices are helpful, but in the end, I must be in the simplest form of human tenderness. There is only this moment and I savour the soul that sits beside me and every snore touches my heart. 

When the end is near, there is nowhere to go. It's as if time has no meaning and only living true to my heart is what matters. So much of what we seek is love, approval, and connection, and yet we do so many things that take us away from what is sitting in front of us. I wonder why? I always have. Wonder keeps me alive to the truth. Truth is the gateway to true love. This is no easy journey. Love is so commingled with distortions of control, power, greed, and anything but love. An animal will tell you the truth. A dog does not operate by these rules. Love is all they are.

Wonder is what I see when I look into a dog's eyes, a curiosity to life that humans have a hard time keeping. It's as if wonder is a lifeline to presence and the kind of love that is loyal to truth. 

I have had another 6 months with my beloved boy. I carry forward his sweet snores, grunts, and an abiding love for all he has gifted me. As we go through changes in life, may the love we carry soften each season with a tender gift that warms our hearts. 

I’m very excited to announce that I will be starting two new Vinyasa Yoga classes at Love Supreme Project in London in 2023 – which will also be available via Live Stream – on Wednesday evenings from 18:15-19:30 and Friday mornings from 9:30am-10:45am London time.

Unfortunately, this means that I will no longer be teaching my Wednesday triyoga class, but you can still find me at triyoga Camden on Monday evenings.

Click here to view my full class schedule.

Tis the season to be merry and bright.

It is also the season that can bring to light difficult thoughts and feelings about life. The days are short and the nights longer in the northern hemisphere, it is a time of turning inward. In a world that encourages us to look outward for our worth, this can be a task that churns up hurt. Winter is a stripping away of the dead branches we may be carrying that keep us in patterns of lack. This is a kind of hurt that needs understanding to shift the story.      

Winter solstice, where the sun is at a “standstill” is a time to honor what is shedding and what needs pruning on the darker days. Some things are too heavy to take with us. Sometimes we carry the pain and burdens of those who came before us. The pain we didn’t process from past experiences can get recycled into the next story. We don’t want to keep building walls that others laid down before us. The cycles of the seasons are a beautiful remembrance to let old structures crumble to compost new beginnings and write a new narrative. 

To be the architect and artist of your dreams takes skill and commitment. I have a client who was writing the same story in her life. Different picture but the same energetic signature in her work life, with her family, and with her boyfriend. As she did the healing inner work to change her part, everything shifted in her relationships. She cleaned up her side of the street and she was able to see clearly how to move forward and stop repeating cycles of codependency and neediness. Her dead branches became kindling wood and she reclaimed her inner fire.
 
We all have to go through cycles of death and rebirth to stay alive to our dreams and desires. It is not a quick fix or instant gratification. To honor the darkness of winter is a beautiful ritual to rekindle our flame that is eternal. Setting the seeds of intention and how we want to bring that light forth can be the guiding force to write new stories. 

Tis the season to be in an honest relationship with where you are in your life, whatever road you are on. There are no dead ends but there are necessary endings. Things end and that is devastating at times, they also lay down the road for new beginnings. As the sun slowly emerges so too does our capacity to hold our light and share that in the world. 
May you find time to Celebrate this season of renewal. Follow the energy that makes you feel alive and what lights you up from inside. 

Love and Solstice blessings,

Mia x

2023 8-Week Transformational Coaching Course

I am excited to announce I will be running my Coming Home to Wholeness course next March. It is a powerful 8-week journey to help shed old patterns and shed new light on what you want to create. Life is a series of death and rebirth. Join me and an online community to celebrate spring and new beginnings. Click below for more information and to register your interest. Keep an eye out for enrollment dates in early 2023.

A guided meditation by Mia Togo, focused on living from a place of abundance, rather than lack.

Can you feel it?

The change in the air at the beginning of September – after Labor Day in the US and the Bank Holiday here in the UK – that accompanies the falling leaves and the cooling temperatures. Fall always gets me thinking about the changing nature of living on this planet and I love the reminder to shed, to harvest, to alchemize the past, and to be present with how we have grown. 
 
The word alchemy conjures up the idea of going beyond the obvious and discovering our capacity for tapping into our inner power. The spiritual alchemy of transforming our wounds and fears into wisdom, has the power to set us free. But until we are ready to process the pain – to break the trance and change the narrative – we may continue to repeat old patterns that are no longer serving us. And I understand that this work is not always easy, but it is much harder to keep spinning in a circle, reliving our past.

~ ~ ~

I have a client who came to me because she was repeating patterns from a past relationship in her new one. Sound familiar? Something I have done many times! She needed help to unpack and let go of what was not of love so that she could recognise what was authentic love. And not the kind you see in the fairytales, movies, or IG accounts, but the type that requires we do the real, gritty work to understand ourselves and each other so that we can build on compassionate conversations and create a deeper love. 

After unpacking some of the fears she was having around intimacy and vulnerability, it was clear that these things were not modelled for her growing up. Her fear of being left or rejected was activated because of past hurts – and not based in the present time – so she was spinning in a time travel of old pain that needed to shift to make room for this new love. 

Through Rinsing Work – discharging old hurts through writing and physical release – she was able to feel the pain and process the message that the pain was trying to deliver to her. She learned that she needed to get clear on her boundaries and love herself in order to feel trust in her life and in her partner. She began learning to accept the good, the bad, and the ugly within herself – to own her past stories where she hurt herself – so that she could be clear in choosing to love herself and her partner moving forward.

She was able to move through the feelings with less judgment and shame so they would not spin her into a hole of repeated old patterns. She Rinsed her fears, processed her hurt, and owned her tender places – her fear about loss and betrayal – so she was less likely to project them onto her partner. Now the relationship is blossoming and she’s harvesting some deep juicy love. Her relationship is imperfect and messy AND lots of beautiful things are growing. 

~ ~ ~

History is important when creating agency. If you were brought up in a home with parents/ caregivers who twisted love with control, guilt, shame, neglect, abuse, betrayal, addiction, or codependency, there's a good chance the same will be intertwined into your adult relationships.

And I want to add, let's not call these patterns bad, but as Human hurt that needs healing. In order to unravel and release this hurt so that it can heal, we often need to experience ourselves in a relationship to make unconscious patterns conscious, so we can change them. 

We can’t change other people, but we can change how we show up for ourselves and in the world. Then we can take agency and either choose to stay, wait, or go, in alliance with our authentic truth. The containers of how we experience love may break, but the love we cultivate and own is our gold. 

~ ~ ~

Shedding the things that are no longer working for us can be hard because we often become dependent on those things to keep us busy, distracted, and disconnected. But to be interdependent humans in a world that is forever changing asks us to evolve with the seasons. It takes courage to allow the old to fall away, to let go of our grip on control and to step into the unknown with vulnerability and openness. It is a practice and a process.

The journey of life is messy and imperfect, but it's also pathed with many blessings that fall into our lap when we release our grip on fear and open our arms to love. 

I will leave you with a Nigerian proverb that I fall back on when I feel lost and confused: 

Where you fall, there your God pushed you. 

All the times I was pushed to my edge, I learned to soften and find more grace in the change. I hope this fall brings a season of change that allows you to flow forward into the mystery of your life and trust the unfolding. I've opened a few spots in my coaching practice for people who want to break free from the past and create a new story for their future. If you'd like my help, hit reply or click the button below for more info on coaching.

With love, Mia x

Owning our stories is a gateway to growth, freedom, and boundless energy. It takes us to the fields of our dreams to manifest from our authentic heart. But first we have to unpack in our emotional baggage what we are unconsciously carrying with us that keeps us tethered to spinning the same story over and over again. 

Remember the days of records? When the record needle came to the end of the song, it would make this scratching sound as the record spun endlessly until you lifted the arm and stopped the spin. Like us humans, when we get to the end of a story or song and we haven't lifted the lesson and heard the music, we can spin the same narrative in the next experience wondering why we are stuck in the same hole. The center of the record has a hole where it fits into the record player. In order to take off the record and move to the next song, we gotta fill ourselves up with the sounds of our own voice and own the music that lives within us. 

Metaphors are helpful ways to bypass the critical mind and open us to understand and feel the hard truths that bring us to a state of love. Owning takes feeling as well as awareness. You can’t change a part of  life that has been wired into our thinking without feeling the energy attached to it. Most of us are afraid to feel emotions like sorrow, sadness, grief because we fear it will swallow us up in a sink hole of despair. The Opposite is true. When we open our experience to feel all of what it means to be human something divine happens. We release the pain of resistance and it reveals what we really need to soothe our tender places. It reunites us with our infinite Self and source of happiness. It takes courage to take the leap of faith. The energy that is released ungrips the pain so a new feeling can be received and a new pathway can unfold. This is the artfulness of creating new neural pathways and communication within and with others. 

Why is owning critical to intimacy? Because into me I am willing to SEE all of me and own all of my vibes. This releases the good/bad dichotomy and opens to the paradox of holding all experience as a road to inner revolution. Breaking down the walls of separation within myself is inner work and not for the feeble. It does take courage to go into places we have been told to stay away. Like feelings! How were you taught to process your feelings as a way to guide you into what needs love and attention? If you received this you are blessed and rare. Most of us were taught to shut them down, override them, don’t trust what you feel, run away, off load them and judge others, put on a happy face, OCD them, the list goes on. My relationships in my life started to improve the day I began learning how to rinse my feelings, process their meaning, and understand what I need to hold, and own within me. By no means was it perfect and it’s been a ride ever since. I can honestly say decades later, I got this because I finally GOT me. 

Flashback to teenage Mia and her high school boyfriend. One of my hurt spins when I was not feeling loved and seen by him was “ He doesn’t get me!” I wasn’t getting me and it was in this crazy process, I was learning it. Growth takes awareness and then it activates what needs attending. I learned later that was not his job, it was mine. I can seek love and validation from other people, but it is always reflecting where I am searching for it within myself. 

Here’s the thing, I was born with it and so were you. Think back to when you were a little babe making your first steps and the wonder and enchantment you had with the simplest things. Along the way, we get clouded in this feeling and begin to take on the judgements, beliefs, and projections of the world. None of this is bad or wrong, all part of the design to bring us home to what keeps us alive to joy. 

Owning takes effort and self reflection to excavate what is living inside of me that is keeping me stuck. Many of us are drawn to relationships that will activate the records from past days and that music is familiar and even sweet. Until it is not.:)  It hits our center hole and our emptiness starts to seek the other person to fill us up. If that space inside of us was full, we wouldn’t be attracted to certain people because I am in my wholeness. For many of us that isn’t the case. Our parents and ancestors had pain and trauma they didn’t know how to process and own so we carry the hurt with us. Not fair and also the universe doesn't care about fairness, it is about getting to the truth to bring things back into center. It is our spiritual journey. 

This is why learning to feel all of our emotions is key. It puts the energy in motion and gets us unstuck from the spin of past pain and hurt. It is this process that moves us to possibility. We start to hear the music that is inside of us and each time we trust that voice over the fear voices in our heads, we move closer to our authentic Self. It is a reunion to the sweetness of life in all its colors. Owning all of me, even through the hard experiences, makes me accountable for my life. It is the alchemy that turns lead into gold. The kind you can't buy, it is the treasure of embracing all of life. 

Listen & subscribe on Spotify, Apple, Google, Castbox, PlayerFM, Overcast, Podcast Guru, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Today, we have another amazing guest meditation teacher, Mia Togo.

Mia leads us in a guided gentle meditation to restore balance. With so much changing in the world, this is a space to breathe into your center. Sitting in stillness will help you soften into your true nature to replenish your energy and return you home to your wholeness.

Mia offers life coaching, leads retreats around the world , and teaches classes online for Yoga Works and TriYoga.

You can also listen to Mia on one of our previous episodes: “Overcoming Trauma Using Shadow Work with Mia Togo”

How to begin anything often depends on how we handle endings. Why can that be so hard for us humans? Endings feel so final and yet they give way for new beginnings. I have found it brings up a necessary death of something, but that can make us uncomfortable. Most of us are taught to build a life that is comfortable – through achievement, success, and fitting into what is expected of us – but in doing so, we can sacrifice our dreams, bold ideas, and a call to adventure. Untethering from a life that is known and predictable can be uncomfortable. 

Stepping into the unknown feels like being lost in the woods, heated in the fire of alchemy, floating down a river without a paddle, and the list goes on. It’s exciting and scary at the same time, not either/or, but both. I call it the willingness to live in paradox to find my paradise, not somebody else's version of what life should be. Redefining the rules and re-orienting toward my true north. You know, that inner compass that most of us connect with when we are little and gets slowly confused in the spin of life. Kind of like being in the Bermuda Triangle and spinning around in the same place. That’s my version of hell. Being stuck in a spin and closing down to the journey because I can’t get my bearings. Or sticking to the maps that were laid down by other people. And many of those maps were made from fear, not love. 

I had a defining moment around this when I was a teenager and my hormones were on fire. I was having dinner with my parents and somehow the topic of what my dad did as a teacher came up. He taught art and ceramics, he made beautiful vessels that were all around the house. In my flippant, smart ass way I said that anyone can make them. It is not that hard. My mom challenged me and said well if that's true, how come I had not tried it. I liked a good competition, I was more into winning at that point in my life, the gauntlet was laid down and the games were on. 

We had a potter's wheel in our garage and there were huge bags of raw clay all around. I remember watching my dad take a lump, wet it down, and throw it on the spinning wheel. He would move his hands up and down the sides and start to shape it into something, it took time and eventually it was something I recognized. He had all these cool tools that cut, sliced, and continued to take away the excess that was blocking the form emerging. Then he would have to take it to work and fire it at thousands of degrees to transform it into a solid container.  What I didn’t take in during these observations, was how patient my dad stayed and how messy the process was. I also overlooked how many hours my dad put into his craft and how many times he got it wrong before it turned out right. Basically the transformational, uncomfortable piece of learning anything new. 

It was my turn. I took the lump of mud and threw it on the wheel and it did not center, it flew off onto the ground. What? Ok let's do it again this time it wobbled around for a while as I attempted to create a shape. Nope, another mush-ball of clay. Hmm, another try and that was it. I quit! I had this surge of anger and pain run through me, but I actually felt sad. I wanted to run away and out of the garage, away from how mean I could be to myself. There was nowhere to run and I couldn't hide this crappy feeling I had. But what to do, why was it so big and over a stupid clay mess. I wanted to escape from myself and shut down “Operation Potters Wheel”. Well that wasn’t going to make the spin of pain go away. I was embarking on a new journey toward it. 

I could see the “I told you so” look on my mothers face and my dad had a grin that was subtle and it was humbling. I got checked without being shamed. I remember saying this ceramics thing is not for me. I didn’t like being bad at something and so I gave it up. It was not so much being bad, it was the mean voices inside me that said I was bad. I was uncomfortable with sucking and stopped myself from growing.

It was a great lesson because my parents didn’t impose it upon me, they let me flounder. I shut down learning ceramics because I got caught up in the spin of self beat. I didn’t like feeling vulnerable and doing something badly. Somewhere along the way that meant I was unworthy,  I needed to be good to be accepted and loveable, that narrative was already strong. 

The next step to make the vessel durable is to put it into the kiln. An oven that is fired at incredibly high heat and burns away any remaining water. The temperature transforms it from one state into another. I remember watching my dad put his work in the kiln and wondering if it would survive. Some pieces did not, they couldn't handle the change. They collapsed under the pressure. The metaphor was not lost on me even as a kid. Change is necessary to strengthen and painful because the form of who I once was needs to change to house who I am becoming.  I was heated in that potter's wheel experience, it fired up my inner kiln and I was not ready to step into the fire. But, like all things, the lessons keep coming around and when we are ready we step into the fire and accept the challenge.  

My inability to center the clay, reflected my inability to center myself. My wobbles were shaking me up to the pain of being messy. So much started spinning inside me that it was a mixture of confusion, fear, pain, sadness, anger, and what the hell did that have to do with throwing a pot? It threw me into a tailspin and the emotional life brewing inside became a place I did not trust and I shut down. I give my parents props for not pushing me, it opened a path and they trusted I would find my own way. I was not destined to follow in my fathers footsteps as a potter, but I was learning to create a life that had necessary endings to begin a deeper dialogue within myself. 

I feel like my potters wheel mess, was when I freed myself from the shackles and shame of being messy. I didn’t get it then, but it landed in the mud of my life. It stirred up in my cauldron of alchemy that to be true to soul, I had some fires to walk through. I wasn’t ready then. I knew the dizzying spin when it would come back to me in the form of relationship struggles, self doubt, insecurity, I was learning that without the mud there is no lotus. I may not have become a great ceramicist, but more importantly I was learning how to be the architect and artist of my own life. 

The spin of self doubt on that potter's wheel, stirred up that pain that needed a way to move, a process so it wouldn’t get lodged into a spin that creates more of the same. I kept learning from that day on, I have to soften my self beat voices, hear the hurt, and be open to change. It hurts sometimes but what hurts even more is staying stuck in the clay and never changing shapes. The more willing I have become to let the old versions of who I am die off, shed like a snake,  I have become more at peace and comfortable with who I am. I am not done. I don’t think we ever are while in this vessel. The difference is I welcome it now, even the hard shit because it is fertilizing the flowers to grow.